Running Update: The Last Chapter

There were really only 3 chapters in this running saga. Regardless, this is the last. The honest truth is that I ran for a month. 

 After running for two weeks I went to the Colorado Running Company and had them examine my gate and pick out the perfect shoe for my feet that underpronate. I was stoked. All my pain and cramps will go away. I not only had severe cramping from my toes to my knees about 30 seconds after I started walking, my hips started hurting and I now - 6 weeks later - have some major issues going on with my feet. I ran for 2 weeks after getting my new shoes and then was done. The pain was unbearable. My hips and feet still hurt. Really. I had the thought that I would bike. Well then school was out and biking with 3 small children presents a bit of a problem. So I decided that a person that is 50 pounds overweight is not going to loose weight or really get into shape by running and not changing eating habits. So back to life as usual.

Eating Habits.
Without writing a book about my struggles with weight and eating for the last 8 years or so I want to highlight a few things that have impacted me and my eating habits this week. These truths have come to me through a Bible Study I've lead 3 times but this book put them all together for me and are impacting. These are the words of Lysa Terkeurst from her book, Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food. Many of these words however could be my own.

• "It's not the 'how to' I'm missing. It's the 'want to'...really wanting to make changes and deciding that the results of those changes are worth the sacrifice."
• "We crave what we eat."
• "We were made to crave -- long for, want greatly, desire eagerly and beg for -- God. Only God."
• "This wasn't really about the scale or what clothing size I was; it was about this battle that raged in my heart."
• "Is it possible to love and rely on food more than we love and rely on God?"
• "God never intended us to want anything more than we want Him."
• "Poor food choices were sabotaging my body, my mental energy, and even my spirit. Food had become like a drug."
• "We were made for more than this. More than this failure, more than this cycle, more than being ruled by taste buds. We were made for victory. Sometimes we just have to find our way to that truth."
• "The real reason for grounding ourselves in the truth that we are made for more is so that you may know him better." She goes on to say that skinny eaters miss this privledge in life.
• "Becoming a woman of self-discipline honors God and helps me live the godly characteristic of self-control."

So I'm through chapter 6. It took me that many chapters to have the 'want to'. I literally said to myself today about a dozen times, "I am made for more than this." I went an entire day without eating bread, pasta, potatos, rice, or processed sugar...because I am made for more than this failure, this cycle and being ruled by my taste buds. I was made for more than this cycle of depression and loving food more than I love my God.

I've only begun to truly believe that He really is capable. The God that rose Jesus from the dead can use that same power to get me out of this horrible cycle. It's true. He can.

It's the beginning of a new era for me I pray. I'm putting myself out there...like I did months ago with so many accountability partners for my new chapter of running...and failed.

Most of you think I'm crazy but maybe one person that reads this needed to hear something I wrote. Or maybe it's for me - I just needed to write it.