Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Super-Human Grace

I'm exhausted. I'm tired. I'm worn down. I'm bushed, disheartened, dispirited, distressed, exasperated, weary, overburdened, annoyed, haggard, irritated, jaded, and spent. (Yeah I used a thesaurus but that does not negate how I feel!)

This was one day about a year ago when they were bored in their room.
Everyone needs two almost-5-year-old boys with nothing to do all day every day. 

I spend my days saying to myself, "WHY??". Why can't they learn? Why don't they listen? Why don't they obey? Why don't they desire to make better choices? WHY?

I have gone to bed every night for the last week trying to brainstorm how to make my days better, easier, more enjoyable while they are at home together all day every day for the next 90 days. I pray for wisdom and creativity and endurance and sweet words to flow from my mouth. I pray for new perspective and outlook. I read books about loving unconditionally and how to live life to the fullest right before I fall asleep. And approximately 10 minutes after I put my feet on the floor in the morning I am spewing and threatening and yelling and well,  feeling exasperated.

As I was cleaning this morning and had moved one unnamed 4-year-old-boy to 3 different time out locations, I thought, 'isn't that how our Father God feels about us'? Exasperated? Wondering every day: Why can't they learn? Why don't they listen? Why don't they obey? Why don't they desire to make better choices?

Fortunately for us He is God and He has infinite amounts of grace and even when exasperated He can still offer grace and love and give us another chance. I, however am human. A visual I have had lately is of God living in me and giving me power that I would not have otherwise. Almost like a super-hero. Visualize haggard mom with a big 'HS' for Holy Spirt on her shirt. The holy spirit is in me and can make me more like Jesus every minute of every day. He can give me the ability to love these boys well despite their sinfulness.

God give me the POWER to have your super human powered grace exude from my person every minute of every day!! Those boys need it. And Lord forgive me for every time I open my mouth and spew nastiness to these boys today. Amen.

Anyone have advice for structure, creativity, and large amounts of patience? Anyone else going through this yet or anticipating it as summer begins?


  1. Since I only have ONE son, I have no wisdom for you.

    However, I had to comment because those pics are CRACKING ME UP!! Sorry. Humor at your expense. I know. Bad Friend.

  2. I honestly think those are some of the funniest pictures ever...and someday, you will laugh. It won't be soon, of course, but these pictures need to grace a table at their wedding reception. Their seeming cheerful defiance is fun for grandma, and of course, not so fun for mom.

    If we, as adults, cannot do and be all that God can they? Not saying they shouldn't try... and they ARE funny.


  3. THANKS Adina! And thanks Mama! I love you both. It does not change my situation but I love you both! And by the way - writing this post did not change their behavior today!

  4. oh golllly, friend...I promise, I'm not laughing AT you, just near you....
    THOSE PICTUREs are HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    okay. whew.
    Seriously, now. Summer advice? Use it as a time to crack down on creating a schedule, new discipline, a chore chart, training for first-time obedience. Seriously. I know it sounds terrible. What a sucky perspective. But it will PAY OFF. For like, the REST of your life. And their's too.

    Sorry. Probably not what you were hopin' for....

  5. OH dear friend, how I feel your exasperation!!!!! I should take pics myself sometime. I have been trying to structure our days with preschool activities, and for the most part this is working. I'm also trying to help them understand how to play together without Mommy's constant presence and not be always in trouble, therefore, I have messes continually!! The tornado warnings and rain haven't helped us, either. It is SO amazing to know that we are sharing the same struggles, and I really hope it gets better for us both!! Your sweet lil boys (who I really miss seeing at Church, by the way!!) are going to be a big blessing, and so are mine. Until that time, LORD GIVE US PATIENCE!! Just like HE has patience with us every moment!!

  6. It must take more than a year to think it's funny. Cause it's STILL NOT FUNNY! Today was better. We just have to stay busy! Camping tomorrow!!! We have a blast camping. Can't wait. Thanks for the feedback ladies - good advice and good to know I am not alone. Thanks.